25 December 2012

Happy Christmas

Hope that anyone reading has a good Christmas.

All is, finally, organised here.

I have messaged with dear friend.

My grandparents rang.

My cousin & Gramma rang and I dissolved into a blubbering mess.

My friend rang while I was still crying.

My bestie just rang.

When the darkness moves in sometimes good things just happen. I still feel like dissolving into tears at any second and I hope that I can get through today with the minimum of tears.

I have decided to go to my quiet place either after lunch with my friend but before dinner with my grandparents if there is time. If not I will go afterwards (my preference). I think it will be the right place to talk to my mum. As much as I have tried, it just doesn't seem to happen here. If my mum's ashes weren't buried in my dad's grave I would go to the cemetery but they are and that cannot be changed. I just cannot go there. I haven't been there in years, around 7 years, and I am not going to start going back now.

Lifeline ended up getting another workout last night. I am tired this morning after two nights of little sleep and lots of tears. My eyes are also ridiculously puffy. Will grab my eye mask and use it for the next little while before I need to leave to try to reduce it a bit.

I hope that you have a good Christmas. I hope I can survive today without too many more tears.

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