I threw up in front of him today.
He told me it was okay.
21 July 2014
19 July 2014
18 July 2014
This has nothing to do with the past, nothing to do with the abuse.
I had someone say something today. I just shrugged my shoulders and said it is just the way it is. I think I do that because it hurts too much to think that it shouldn't be that way. I have been crying for the last half hour because I know that person is right.
Part of this does relate to the abuse I guess. Acceptance of the way things were was what kept me alive. I guess that is similar to now. Just accept it and it won't hurt. However, every once in a while something happens or someone says something and I realise just how much it does hurt though. As much as I try to lock it up it does break through.
I don't feel like I fit anymore. I don't feel like anyone cares.
16 July 2014
I remembered some stuff through the week.
I have been drawing a lot. I filled my A3 art pad. I was hampered by crutches so couldn't get another but I did get a scrapbook thing from the supermarket. I have my crayons, coloured pencils, textas and paints. I am not keen on the textas and the paints seemed to be for an actual specific thing and I don't feel the need to use them again.
14 July 2014
I found this link on another site I visit.
The slogan triggered me. It is disgusting and vile. It is quite obviously referencing adults. However, princess was father's preferred term for me when he was doing stuff. There was others but that was his most used one. I don't have a problem with the word in the right context. This is not right. It is vile. I would ask if you would please consider signing the petition.